Finding Myself, Finding My Dream
Today’s post is not about food. It’s just one of those days I am feeling blue and needed some self reflection moments.
So I left my 4 years of journalist life going into unknown. Some called me stupid, because I have a bright future there. Some called me brave, because I am courageous enough to take the step to see the world. Me? I call myself lost. I didn’t exactly left the job for nothing or have a noble aspirations of seeing the world. It was a spur of the moment when you felt tired of doing the same thing every week, very different from what I have been doing. Then one day, I got an opportunity to learn to do something which I have always wanted to try, so I jumped to another boat.
It was a social media position in a travel company. As fun as it sounds, as much ideas as I have, things didn’t work out. I can’t pinpoint to a particular reason, it’s the work culture, the people, the mindset… everything doesn’t seem right. Understanding that it is a fast moving industry, I tried my best to pick it up as fast as I could. But expectations weren’t set correctly right from the beginning and having to deal with people who boosts about being expert in social media when they are not, was just too much.
So it was after a month that I called it quits. And all these happened in June. Not that I gave up trying, but it just didn’t feel right. Yes I do agree that nobody is born to know a job but when you know that this is not you wanted to do, isn’t it better not to waste each other’s time? But I must admit that I did learn quite a bit about social media during that month and I am grateful. I am shocked by the graphs I have to read everyday! LOL
So what’s next for me? I don’t know. You can call this quarter life crisis. I didn’t want to jump into something just because I needed a job. In fact, I was quite happy this month because I have time for myself, for my family and for my friends. I signed up for full time Japanese class and made new friends. I have also went back to pursue my interest in doing food miniature. I spend my lunch time meeting different friends to have meals and catch up on each other’s lives. Some of them I only see a few times in a year, and some I haven’t met for years! I also spend time having meals with my Grandfather.
Other than that, I have been quite blessed to be given a lot of opportunities for this little blog of mine. I spent more time drafting posts and meeting up with potential brands. As much as I am self sustainable at the moment, the boy and aunt have been really worried. They have been dropping hints here and there, i.e. will you be able to pay for the house? Don’t you want to look for another opportunity? Are you sure you want to do this?
Now the next question I have been asking myself, what is my dream? What is it I really want to do? Not many people I know talk about their dreams. They seem embarrassed to say it out loud. These people have never tested their dream. They don’t know if others will laugh at them. They’re not sure if they’re aiming too high or too low. They don’t know if their dream is something they can really achieve or if they’re destined to fail. Just like me.
Yes, the best thing in life is to do what you love. But discovering that dream job and what you are meant to do in life isn’t always so easy. At one point, I have kinda given up hope. I lost sight of dreams and have been unsure what is worth dreaming and working towards. Not trying to say that the boy is my dream killer, but he is realistic. Just a few nights ago, he told me,”If you are not earning enough, I have to work harder and earn more for our house.” STRESS RIGHT. -_-
It really takes A LOT of confidence to talk about a dream and even more to pursue it. I didn’t want settle for the average. As someone puts it, “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” I totally agree. You can’t reach for a dream and remain safely mediocre at the same time.
If you are also finding your dream, perhaps these pointers which I found online can help you:
– What are your hobbies? Give each of your hobbies some thought, and think about whether they’re things you love to do, and that you’d love to do for a living.
– Who / What / Where do you like to work with?
– When have you been happiest? Think about the happiest times of your life, and what you were doing, who you were doing it with, and where you were doing it.
– Create a clear vision. Write down you dream, and try to make it as clear as possible.
– Practice, practice. While you’re taking your steps to realizing your dream, practice your passion as much as possible.
– Set aside time each day to work towards your dream.
– Pretend you can’t fail. Take away all fear of risk and loss, and believe in your success.
– Live as you want to be remembered. How do you want to be remembered when you die? If you want to remembered for realizing your dream, then don’t start on it when it’s too late. Start on it now. Live your life so that your dream actually comes true.
I am still embarrassed to say what is my dream. Perhaps one day when I am ready…I am still wondering if that is the right dream, wondering if that is the path I want to go.
Ok I am ending this post here. Here’s something for you, always remember there are only two kinds of people in this world— the realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they’re going. The dreamers have already been there. If you already have a dream, put it to the test and start going after it. 🙂